Terri Gray's Update

Hello. Welcome to my Blog. I will use this form of communication to keep all my family, friends and others who are interested in my life experiences living with cancer up to date. I have been battling inflammatory breast cancer since May 2003. Every day I pray "May I be a blessing to you in each word I write today!" Please subscribe to my Blog by entering your email address in the subscribe box located in the right column below my book.

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

The latest news.

Dear Family and Friends,

I hope you're having a wonderful week so far. As you all know, each day is a treasure to me, and especially today, I am reminded of the treasure of the day. Dr. Lossing called me in today for an appointment and to talk about my prognosis. He advised me that my red blood counts along with my platelets were lowered by the first dosage of Doxil, so I took a Procrit injection for the hemoglobin. There isn't anything to take for the platelets, except to wait for them to rise again.

Then, Dr. Lossing closed the doors in his office and faced David and me in a more serious and somber glance. "How are you feeling?" He inquired. I told him that I noticed the fatigue was worsening, and that it seemed to make me want to sleep most of the time. Then, he went over all the boxes Cara had checked off on the sheet in my chart. Finally, I asked him to be honest with us. "Where am I at, Dr. Lossing? Is the feeling of fatigue due in part to the Doxil and pain meds, or is my body just shutting down?"

He responded with the fact that my assumptions were correct. He said I could no longer tolerate the Doxil because of my jaundice, and that the body was shutting down. Unless I had a miracle, we had done medically, all we could do. I shed a few tears and then explained that I knew this in my heart, but that Dave and I were trusting God for a miracle. He said that we all are. Because I really need one more Procrit to bring up my red blood counts from the Doxil, he wants me to wait until next Wednesday to go onto hospice. After my Procrit, he wants to put me on hospice. Hospice does not pay for Procrit. So this is where we're at.

I need all of you to understand that I have not given up on God. Medically, we have done above and beyond what any body can tolerate. Now, we shall allow my body permission to rest and wait upon the Lord for His answer to my needs. I'm sure many of you are asking yourselves "How much time?" I want to take you back to my earlier e-mails back in 2003, when I explained that "all our days ordained for us are written in the Book of Life...Psalm 139" and that I won't enter into eternity one day earlier than God plans for me to be there. Dr. Lossing said weeks as opposed to months. I'm a firm believer in God's miracles, and I'm waiting upon mine....any time now! This is a very difficult time for my family, and I would covet your prayers for them. Dave, Jen and Chris have stood strong with me throughout this long and difficult journey, and I ask you to do the same with them. God is so great, and in my heart of hearts, I know He's working out His perfect plan. Let's wait expectantly for what He will do!

With my love,


May I be a blessing to you in each word I write today.
The past is history, the future is a mystery, but the present is a gift! Enjoy today.